Christmas with the Whiting Family, 2012

This Christmas has been a roller coaster of emotions for me.  I actually cried ON Christmas day!  I adore Christmas, and begin a countdown come September every year, so crying on Christmas day is just totally off for me.

There are a lot of reasons why Christmas was hard this year.  We had a much smaller budget (last years was significantly higher than this years), I had to un-decorate the tree, plans were jumbled at best, and the list goes on.  It was a very big learning experience.  It was re-affirmed many times over that I do not do well with vague plans, that I am indeed an introvert, that no matter how much I want it I cannot have a Martha Stewart perfect home with little children (and may never have one), and that Christmas is NOT about spending money, or baking loads of sweets, or decorating perfectly.  No, Christmas is about God humbling himself and becoming a little baby, Jesus, as part of His grande and perfect plan to save us all from our sin.

It's so hard to remember the gospel in Christmas when every where around you is the pressure to materialize it.  I think everything that seemed to put a strain on our holidays was designed to point me back to Christ, and it did.  However, God did bless us this year despite our limitations.  The kids have many wonderful new toys even though we could only get them 2 each, we spent 3 joyous days celebrating and 2 of those with family, and I have a plan to help reduce stress and financial strain for next year!

Christmas Day was also Wynter's birthday!  It's still so strange to think of that.  Though we will be celebrating her birthday in January this year, and will continue to set aside a separate time each year for her special day, we cannot ignore that last year she was born on Christmas Day, and she will always be a year older come Christmas morning.

Here are some wonderful photos we took before I un-decorated the tree:

Parenting with love and grace

It's really easy for me to become overwhelmed and frustrated with two little toddlers underfoot.  These little, adorable, monsters make unending messes, demand 99% of my time and attention, and can scream loud and long.  Feeding them the food they need can often be a strain on my creativity (spaghetti happens to work well for getting in their grains and veggies).  Figuring out games that keep their attention, or gain it in the first place, is often a source of frustration for me.  I often feel like I'm struggling to figure out this parenting thing, and I often feel like I'm going to go insane from a messy, unorganized house.

I just finished vacuuming the entire living room floor because Oliver had flung coconut everywhere.  There is a jacket on the living room chair, two more on the couch next to a hanger and two mismatched socks.  Two blankets are bunched up at the foot of the chair, and next to that is the diaper bag.  On the floor in front of the bookcase are two books, another hanger, and a pair of Wynter's jeans.  Our Christmas tree has only lights and ribbon messily resting on oddly bent branches from being pulled down and otherwise messed with by little hands. I had to take down the ornaments because those same little hands enjoyed taking off the sparkling things too much.

It can be really hard for me to see the humor or joy in coconut flakes littering the floor like a light dusting of snow.  My first reaction is to be angry.  Why in the world would Oliver fling coconut everywhere?  What made him think that was a good idea?  Now I have to vacuum the floor, and coconut that I was using for cookies has been wasted.

Today it was easier to laugh, and I did.  I thought about how it looked like it had snowed inside our home, and thought to myself how Oliver must be missing snow (not that he's ever seen snow) as much as me.  I didn't get mad.  But had it been yesterday I would have been furious!  Certainly not the best, nor the correct reaction and example.

I don't know why I expect my kids to be perfect angels when I myself don't even come close, but I find that I do expect much of these little people.  I expect joyful obedience 90% of the time, I expect them to clean up their messes, I expect them to think and act rationally... expecting all of that is not rational!  Now I don't exactly think about the fact that I expect it, but my reactions when things don't go according to my expectations certainly are evidence enough.

 These little people come into a sinful world, with a sinful heart, and cannot be expected to think or act like good little children without being taught.  Patiently taught, because any parent can tell you that after the 100th time of saying no to the same thing these little ones still don't quite get it.  God tells us to train our children in the way they should go.  That takes work, patience, perseverance, grace, and God.  Left on my own I am a slave to my unrealistic expectations and constant frustration.  Only with God can I train these little ones in His ways with love and grace.  I am thankful that God shows me more mercy, love, and grace than I can comprehend, and I pray that He will help me to demonstrate this to my own children.