A few more random thoughts...

It's not as hard to resist Facebook for Lent as I thought it would be.  It's almost relaxing. That said, I do miss it a little for sharing things that make me happy, or sharing light-bulb moments, or other similar things.  So, I thought I'd just get them out of my system by putting them here for now.

1. I've gotten addicted to cookies so I'm giving up sweets in all forms for the rest of Lent just to get rid of this feeling that I need them.  In the past when I've not eaten sweets for a while I find I don't really want all that sugar so I'm just going to give it up and by the end of Lent I shouldn't feel that need for sugar like I do now.  Seriously, it got bad, I'd bake a batch of cookies (about 3-4 dozen) and they'd be gone in two days with me eating most of them.  So no more sweets.  Also, the reason I chose to "do it for Lent" is because I need a goal, a challenge, otherwise I'll slip up.

2.  Being a mother of a daughter changes you so much. Children in general change you because you see all your sins in them and are so often convicted of your own sin as you watch them struggle with their sin.  However, being a mother of a daughter has changed me even more.  I started asking myself "am I the kind of woman I want my daughter to become?" and the answer was "no, not even"... it did also lead me to ask the question "am I the kind of woman I want my son to marry?" and the answer was also no, but the point is I hadn't even thought to ask those questions until I had Wynter.  I'd encourage women to ask themselves that... even before they have children, "are you the kind of woman you want your son to marry or your daughter to become?"  It's pretty life changing.  Where you once thought you were decent, and "better than some" you find you do not meet the standard you'd set for them at all.  The second thing you'll need to realize is that you cannot be that woman.  God can change you into that woman, but you can't get there on your own so don't try, you'll just be discouraged.  The first thing to do is get on your knees in prayer that God will continue to refine you, transform you, change you into a woman of God.

3.  At church we're going through a series titled Weird (because normal isn't working).  It's also making me realize how much I need God to work in me and transform me to be more like Him, and how much I want that.  I'm used to being the girl that blends in, that isn't really noticed in a crowd, that doesn't cause waves, or stand out, and I have purposefully been that girl because I want to be normal.  But normal doesn't work, normal doesn't display Christ to others, normal doesn't shout the gospel... so I'm learning to like weird, and want to be weird for Christ, weird in a good way.  I want to stand out for Christ, not to draw attention to myself but point heavenward to God.

And that's all I have time for today.  Normally I'd share this on Facebook, but not this time so maybe no one will see it until after Lent is up, but I wanted to record these thoughts somewhere for myself at least.