My Parenting Decisions: Breastfeeding and Formula Part 2

Formula

Mostly I want to talk about my breastfeeding journey with Wynter, but first I think I'll tell you about the formula journey with Oliver.  I don't think you hear about formula feeding journey's often.  I mean there really isn't a lot to tell, right?  You go to the store, buy some formula, fix the bottle, feed the baby.  Yet, there is more to it.  There are choices to be made about what brand to buy, whether to get powdered or prepared formula, and then there is always the story of how we ended up doing formula in the first place.

As I mentioned in my last post, I had totally planned on breastfeeding.  My Mom breastfed me for 2 years, as well as most of my siblings (one self-weaned at a year, and one was adopted).  I was exposed to breastfeeding as a child and grew up understanding that it's the natural way to feed babies, so for me it was an easy decision, of course I would breastfeed.  Then Oliver was born.  He wouldn't latch, and that meant he was hungry all the time, and I became increasingly stressed that he wasn't eating.  On day 3 I reached out to a friend who let me temporarily borrow her pump.  However, it wasn't long after I started pumping that I began to lose my milk supply.  One night I spent hours pumping, feeding, pumping, feeding, because Oliver was so hungry and I couldn't pump enough for him at one time.  The next day I went out and bought formula.  Oliver was fed formula from that moment until he was 1 year old.

We began with Similac Sensitive formula.  Eventually we realized that the contents of Similac Sensitive, and Parent's Choice (Wal-Mart brand) Gentle were the same, and since Parent's Choice was so much cheaper we bought that for about 2 months.  Since before Oliver was born we were on WIC (a government supplement program for Women, Infants, and Children) and after he was born we opted for the breastfeeding package.  After we switched to formula I was so ashamed and embarrassed that I wouldn't go back to WIC for fear they would lecture me about giving up on breastfeeding so quickly.  During that time we bought our own formula, thus the decision to use the cheaper Parent's Choice brand.  And actually, the Parent's Choice formula caused the least tummy problems for Oliver.  After a while I realized how expensive formula is and decided to suck up my pride and return to WIC.  We got on the formula program and had to switch back to Similac Sensitive.  We used that until he was 1 year old and we switched to whole milk.

I haven't done a lot of research on formula so I don't know what is best to use, but I can direct you to The Leaky Boob where there is a post full of information on how to make informed choices on formula.

Breastfeeding

After I failed at breastfeeding Oliver I knew with the next baby I would be more prepared and try harder.  My failure didn't defeat me, it made me more determined.  I bought a breastpump and accessories for pumping, I read books, watched videos, and thought about how to fight through the difficult beginning.  I was so ready this time.

At first Wynter latched, no problem.  I was so surprised, and so happy!  But by day 3 she wasn't latching well anymore and rather than fight her I began to use bottles of pumped breastmilk more and more often until I was only trying to get her to latch about once each day, and I was pumping every 2 hours.  It got exhausting.  My back hurt because of how I had to hunch over when pumping.  I hated being tied to that pump.  So many times I wanted to give up.  I cried over it, got angry and frustrated, and by the time she was 6 weeks old I was so done.  

During those weeks of struggling I had a lot of encouragement from friends on Facebook.  They helped me figure out that the difficulties we were having (mostly that she couldn't seem to stay latched on well enough) were due to an extreme lip tie*.  I tried to go to an LLL meeting, but our car was having problems so I never made it.  I did e-mail an LLL leader who suggested I try a nipple shield.  At first I was totally put off by that idea.  I thought it was weird, and might hurt, and I didn't even know how to go about finding and selecting one.  Then, one day at Wal-Mart I saw a Medela Contact Nipple shield. I was curious so I picked it up and read the information on the back of the package.  It even gave instructions on how to measure your nipple so you can select the right size shield.  I didn't buy it then, but a few days later I did.  By the time I actually purchased and used the the shield Wynter was 7 weeks old.  

The shield was super easy to use and, for us, worked a miracle!  I can't even tell you how ecstatic I was that this was working.  The joy was indescribable.  Two days after using the shield successfully I decided to give breastfeeding a go without it.  I didn't expect it to work, but it did!  Wynter latched beautifully and stayed latched.  That day, and the next I used the shield intermittently, whenever I was worried she wouldn't latch without it and didn't want to fight her.  After that it seemed ridiculous to use it because she didn't need it anymore, she was latching and feeding so well without the shield.

Wynter is nearly 4 months old, and breastfeeding is still going strong.  In fact, it's beginning to be more enjoyable as Wynter becomes more interactive.  She's started to unlatch and smile up at me for a bit, then coo as if we're chatting back and forth over a meal, and then latch back on.  Repeat.  It's so adorable!

Many of the ideas I had about breastfeeding have been changed, and I think it's a good idea to share those.  I know it's easier for me to be open to new ideas if I know of someone who has started with the same thoughts as me, and then changed to different thoughts on the same topic through experience or research.  So here is a list of the ideas I had about breastfeeding that have since changed:

• Breastfeeding is natural, thus easy.   Breastfeeding is natural, but it is not always easy.  With both of my children we've had latching issues that have caused me great stress and discomfort. 
• Breastfeeding is private.  I always thought it was inappropriate to breastfeed without covering up and I have spoken strongly against not using some sort of cover in public.  However, though I would use one at the beginning when it's harder to be discreet about nursing, and I still use a cover in restaurants and at church, at a park and at home when people are visiting I have stopped using a cover.  The weather here is getting hotter and it's stuffy and hot under a cover for Wynter.  We have gotten so accustomed to nursing that it's easy for me to get her latched on without exposing myself to the world, and after she's latched I can easily keep my shirt covering enough of my boob that only someone who is actually looking down on me from directly above would see any boob skin.  I think women should feel free to do what is comfortable for them and their baby.
• It will be weird to have my baby talk to me while nursing.  Since Wynter has started taking little nursing breaks to coo and smile at me and it is the most adorable thing, I don't think it will be that strange when those coos become babbles and the babbles become words.
• Nursing beyond 1 year is strange.  After going through the struggles that I did, I want Wynter to nurse as long as she wants.  It seems strange to me to ask her to stop before she's ready after we worked so hard to get it going in the first place.
• Breastfeeding will be enjoyable and I will love it.  It might seem strange, but after the initial joy of finally getting breastfeeding to work for us, breastfeeding became boring and more like a chore.  Now that Wynter is taking those breaks to "chat" it is becoming more enjoyable, and more like a special time for us to bond, but for a while I would inwardly groan when she was hungry and I had to nurse her.
• With the success of breastfeeding, I will never use formula again.  That's like saying that your toddler will never have McDonalds, which for us wasn't true.  I don't let Oliver eat junk often, but every now and then he will have a McD's cheeseburger and fries.  It's the same with Wynter and formula.  It's easier for me to have formula around for when Andrew and I go on dates than it is to pump breastmilk.  So, yes, Wynter does occasionally get formula and I don't feel guilty about that at all.  It's life.  I kind of appreciate having it there for date nights, it makes it easier to leave knowing she has an abundant supply of food in case she's really hungry while I'm gone.

*Information on lip tie and tongue tie.