My Parenting Decisions: Cribs and Co-sleeping/bed-sharing

Nursery's look cute, but aren't always practical.

Actually, my reality right now is more like the perception photo.

Right along with breastfeeding vs formula, as far as controversy goes, is co-sleeping vs cribs.  There are plenty of advocates for both sides, as well as plenty of good reasons to do either one.  Really it comes down to personal choice.

 My parents chose co-sleeping (more specifically, bed-sharing).  Recently I asked my Mom how she knew when to transition us to our own beds and our own rooms.  She was very relaxed with things like this and said she mostly looked for cues from us that we were ready.  It helped that for the most part we had siblings that shared rooms with us so we weren't really alone.  I remember that when my youngest brother stopped sleeping with our parents, he'd often spend the night with me (I was 11).  Co-sleeping has never been a strange concept to me, even when it wasn't what we chose with our first-born.

With Oliver I think we did a lot of "mainstream" things.  Choosing to buy a crib and set up a nursery for him that was not in our room was one of those things.  Why I chose a crib and separate sleeping arrangements for our son when I'd grown up with co-sleeping as the norm? I have no idea.  One of our reasons involved using the Ferber sleep training method, cry it out, but I'll write more on that later.  I also think that as a first time mom I was dazzled by the cute nursery set ups, and the fun cribs with the adorable bedding.  It was all very visually appealing.  That picture above, of the co-sleeping reality, is not nearly as cute to me as a photo of a well put together nursery.  Even now, while we have switched to being co-sleeping parents with Wynter, the nursery image is still so cute and enticing.  So much so that even when I knew Wynter would probably be sleeping in our bed with us, I bought her a crib that she probably won't use until she's about one year old.  (We use it as a changing table in our bedroom for now, so it actually is pretty useful.)

Co-sleeping, while definitely beneficial to mother and child (you can read more about that here), isn't as comfortable as I thought it would be.  Like breastfeeding, I believe it's the better option, but sometimes I'd rather Wynter was sleeping in her own bed.  Actually, Wynter starts the night by falling asleep in her baby swing, then when she wakes up around 1am I bring her to bed with us and nurse her back to sleep.  So, while I am a huge advocate of co-sleeping, I won't lie and say that it's an easy choice, or that it's comfortable, or that I don't often wish I had her sleeping in a crib instead of our bed.  That said, I do actually think it's much easier for me to at least have her sleeping in our room than in her own room.

I know co-sleeping has been advertised (literally) as dangerous for babies.  The truth is that, when done safely, co-sleeping actually helps to prevent SIDS.  Even having baby sleep in a crib in your room helps, you don't actually have to bed-share for baby to reap some of the benefits of co-sleeping.  Here's some a lot of information on co-sleeping:

By Dr. Sears (I go to Dr. Sears' website for answers to so many things now, as a reference I think his site is one of the best.)
Scientific Benefits of Co-sleeping (same link as the one 2 paragraphs up)
7 Benefits of Sleeping Close to Your Baby
Co-Sleeping: Yes, No, Sometimes? (My favorite go to article on how close proximity sleeping arrangements are good for baby.)
SIDS and co-sleeping
Safe Co-sleeping Habits

Dr. McKenna
Advantages of co-sleeping
Long-term effects
Addressing co-sleeping risks

Dr. Jay Gordon (I use his website second to Dr. Sears' as a reference when I need information on many different topics.)
Safe Co-sleeping
Sleep, Changing Patterns in the Family Bed (This is most likely the method we'll use for moving Wynter from our bed to her own crib when she's old enough.)

I know there are many good reasons for why parents may decide using a crib is a better option for them.  We certainly had our own reasons for making that decision with Oliver.  Just like breastfeeding is medically known as the best choice for feeding babies in most cases, I think co-sleeping is the best sleep option medically in most cases. However, every parent has to choose what is best for everyone involved, and sometimes that means that co-sleeping is not going to be their best choice.  I certainly believe that, as parents, we all try to make the best choices for our own personal circumstances.  As someone who has done both, I will not be the mother that judges another for their sleep arrangement choices.