Double Lessons

One of the first things I learned about submission is that it is about surrendering control.  I had never before realized how much of a control freak I was.  There were signs, I knew I wasn't spontaneous, I liked to have plans and know how each moment of my day would fit together, last minute alterations to "the plan" would stress me out and sometimes even make me irritable and unpleasant to be around.  I didn't like doing things if I didn't know what the outcome would be, and for this reason many things made me nervous.  I needed everything to line up nicely into my little plan.

Can you see where the problem is?  It's pretty obvious.  "My little plan"... I needed to be in control.  What I wasn't realizing is that I am not in control at all!  God is.  Submission isn't all about submitting a man, who can make mistakes and wrong choices, it is about submitting to God and giving over that control to Him.  Yes, I do also need to submit to my husband, but it really goes beyond that to submitting to God and trusting Him that He will guide and lead Andrew.  When I realized this it made submitting to Andrew less of a risk because I know that God's plan is perfect.  My plan may not always line up with God's plan, and that also means that my plan may not always line up with Andrew's plan, but as long as I keep submitting to God first and trusting Him to lead Andrew, and thus our family, in His perfect plan then I can more easily let go of my plan.

I still fight to be in control quite a bit.  I forget that I really don't have any control at all, everything is in God's hands.  This is why I am so thankful for God's never-ending mercy and grace.  No matter how many times I forget and try to be "god" in my own life, He is always ready to forgive and welcome me back into His arms.  Not only that but He never stops calling me back to Him whenever I stray.

James 4:7

Submit therefore to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you.