Oliver and Autism

God's timing is just so perfect.  A few weeks ago I read a blog post about waiting patiently on God.  A verse was referenced that I wrote on a note card and put on a wall in our home that I see many times each day.  I began reciting this verse to myself with Oliver's speech in mind.

 "But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." -Romans 8:25

That verse became a hope and reminder that I held close to my heart, and continue to do so.

Shortly after that a guest speaker addressed a class about PDD-NOS that Andrew's mother, Sheree, is taking.  Although I don't believe that Oliver fits that specific diagnosis, some of the things mentioned by the speaker connected with Sheree in relation to Oliver.  Soon after we were talking on the phone about Oliver and she asked if we'd considered PDD or any other ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder).  I shared the story of the doctor visit in which I broached the idea of delays other than speech and our doctor basically laughed at me.  Shortly after that conversation my sister, Kayla, asked some similar questions.  Along with that, one of my close friends was horrified that any doctor would laugh at my concerns and strongly encouraged us to find a new pediatrician, and my mom, Sandy, has also been encouraging us to at least get a second opinion.  Finally I began to see that I am not just seeing things that aren't there, others around Oliver were also expressing deep concern.

When I told Kayla the story of what our last pediatrician had told us, that basically none of my concerns were any more than a mothers over concern, she began finding out information for me.  It was Kayla that got Dr. S's information, and pushed me to make that phone call.  I am so thankful that she is more aggressive than I!

Now that I feel backed by a medical professional as well as family and friends, I am doing more in depth research, and the more I read the more signs I see in retrospect and currently.  Anything that I'm not sure about I am simply observing because I don't feel comfortable putting a symptom on Oliver that truly isn't there.  In the list below I mention two signs that I'm not sure about yet, but seem to fit.  Please don't think that the more symptoms I read, the more I place on Oliver, it is quite the opposite.  Some of the things I've read were surprising to me, even though Oliver does them, I never would have guessed that they were signs of autism. So, as promised, here are Oliver's symptoms:

(referencing Classic Signs Of Autism from The Autism Book by Dr. Robert Sears)

• Speech Delay
• Little or no language. I've also begun to notice some beginnings of repetitive speech as some words begin to emerge.  One of his new words is "no", and yesterday I heard him saying it over and over again with no real purpose.  I think I said no to Wynter and then Oliver repeated it to her, and then continued repeating it even as he went back to what he was playing with.  Maybe that is just him exploring the new words he is finally figuring out, but I'll be keeping an eye on it.

• Social  Delay
• Decreased imaginary and pretend play.  According to Dr. S his imaginary play is about what one would expect from a 1 year old, which is what I've seen myself.  Wynter is doing the same imaginary play that Oliver is, and Oliver did not do any imaginary play until more recently.
• Tantrums that are more extreme than usual.  This was a hard one for me to be sure about.  I didn't want to place this symptom on Oliver if his tantrums were just him being a toddler.  However, especially when he's had inadequate sleep, or an unusually busy day, his tantrums are becoming more and more obviously extreme.  Here is a video of a typical tantrum that he might have on a fairly regular basis, and that is an example of the more mild tantrums. A more extreme tantrum will involved flinging himself everywhere, screaming at the top of his lungs, hitting, falling to the ground, and more.  It is difficult to deal with, and maybe even harder to watch.
  
  Before I go on, I want to note that I do not believe autism to be an excuse for a tantrum.  Oliver needs to learn coping skills that will help him choose reactions that are more appropriate when he is frustrated, angry, or generally upset.  I understand his tantrums often stem from being frustrated that he cannot communicate well with us, but hitting, screaming, and the occasional biting are things we are continuously working on with him.
•  Often won't return a happy smile when a caregiver engages with a smile.  This one is not one I'm 100% certain about.  I never noticed it being a problem as he does often smile, but yesterday I made a point to purposefully smile at him and he did not smile back.  Again, today, I've made a point to smile at him several times, even asking him to smile, "Can you give Mommy a smile, Oliver?" and he did not smile in return any of those times so far.  So this one is an ongoing observation.  Andrew has wondered to me several times if Oliver is a happy child, and I never understand why he would ask me that.  Perhaps he subconsciously noticed a lack of smiling when engaged with a smile?
• Poor eye contact.  Oliver will give us eye contact when prompted to, but Dr. Sears explains that toddlers ought to be initiating eye contact on a regular basis, not just when prompted.  
• Difficulty with transitions from one activity to another (will have a tantrum).
• No fear or understanding of dangerous situations.  Dr. S demonstrated this to me when Oliver readily touched the light on one of his medical instruments (the thing they use to check inside ears), but Wynter would not touch it because she was afraid it might be hot.

• Unusual obsessions or movements
• Self-stimulating behaviors and repetitive movements. (Please ask for more specifics if you want them, they are too difficult to describe here.)
• Restricted to certain foods and is unusually reluctant to try unfamiliar ones.  Again, along with the tantrums, I was reluctant to say his refusal to try new foods fell under "unusual" but the more I learn the more I feel confident saying that this is an issue.
• Overly aggressive or self-injurious. (Please ask for more specifics if you want them, they are too difficult to describe here.)

• Abnormal responses to sensory input
• Bothered by large crowds, noises, and chaos.  I think this one is pretty obvious to anyone observing Oliver.
• May not crave cuddling, hugging, and other close contact and may even.  Oliver has never been huge on cuddling, even as a baby.  He only wants it on his terms now, but will give hugs, sit in our lap, cuddle, etc. So this may not be an issue after all, but it could be.

There are other signs as well, but these are the ones that fall in line with classic symptoms and I think this post is long enough for now.  Please feel free to ask questions!