He Called Me

I've made no secret of the fact that I am a follower of God, a Christian.  Yet, lately I have struggled with my faith.  Life has been difficult lately. I've felt angry and resentful which has made me an unpleasant person to live with. (I'm so sorry Andrew, Oliver, and Wynter!)  I was struggling so hard with what I knew and what I wanted.  God calls me to live free of anger, bitterness, and resentment, and yet I didn't want to let go of my pain and I didn't want to forgive the things that were causing my anger.  Mostly I was angry and bitter at God for allowing my life to be less than my view of perfect.  I wanted Him to fix it for me, without any work of my own, and I refused to be happy until that happened.

Then yesterday I saw a post by an author I follow on Facebook and it broke through my barriers and it was as if God whispered in my ear, "Come back, give your pain and your anger and your problems to me."  The post said, "Jesus never called us to the comfortable life. He called us [to] follow Him through whatever life hands us."  That is a pretty common concept in Christianity.  God does not promise an easy life for His followers. I knew this, and yet it took that simple little post to remember and for the truth of it to sink in.

I remembered a passage in Romans chapter 8, verses 38 and 39, that says, 

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Nothing can separate me from the love of God. I belong to Him and nothing and no one can change that.  Not even my anger and bitterness.

This morning I did something I hadn't done in many months, I spent some time with God. I prayed, I read His word, and the kids and I had Bible time at the table during breakfast (which we are going to do every day from now on).

What I hope you might know from this little confession is that even Christians can be like stubborn little children sometimes, refusing their father's help when they need it most.  But that does not mean that when we realize we cannot do it on our own we have doomed ourselves, we can still humble ourselves and return to our Father, confess our weakness and sin, and ask for His help and He will help us.