Why I Am Glad Autism Did Not Come First

Can you imagine if we all went around introducing ourselves by the qualities that make up a part of us, whether they are good or bad?

"Hi, my name is Sarah, and I'm short tempered."

Or, "Hi, I'm Sarah, and I enjoy serving others."

The people we meet would first and foremost see us in light of what we'd just told them about ourselves.  As they spent time with us and got to know us better they would learn we have other qualities that make up the rest of who we are, but it would take time.

Oliver did not come into the world with any sort of label that caused us to think of him in only one certain way.  Oliver was born as a healthy boy, as a baby, and as our son, that's all we knew about him.  As he grew he began to display his personality, his preferences, his idiosyncricies, etc. We got to know who Oliver is first and foremost.  Nothing was pressumed.

This is why I am glad that we had that time.  I know that it's typically recognized that early intervention is key, as early as possible, but I am glad that we did not have that Autism label until we had time to see him without it.  Now the label is just that, a label.  It provides services for Oliver, and it helps us to understand him better, but it did not change the knowledge we already had of who Oliver is.

I have to admit that despite that help that Oliver's diagnosis has brought, there are times that I wish we didn't have it.  There are times that I wish that I could just not know and just enjoy my little boy the way he is without any sort of knowledge of Autism.  Ignorance is bliss.

Yet, the knowledge has brought understanding, and the understanding has enabled us to help Oliver in ways we hadn't before.  And so I am conflicted.  I do not like his diagnosis, but I do appreciate what it has done for us and for him.