A Woman's Value

As I hear about Miley Cyrus's VMA performance I am saddened.  I have to admit that I watched a bit of her performance this morning.  I wanted to see if it was truly as shocking as everyone says it is, and as I watched it I just wanted to cry. I remember being her age, and I remember the desperate feelings that made me want to act in shameful ways.  

This world tells young girls that their value is tied to their beauty, and especially to their sexiness.  Their worth, the world says, is measured by how many boys they can get to want them.  When I was Miley Cyrus's age, and really it started at about 17 years old, I believed this message.  I desperately sought the attention of guys, and I wanted so badly to be desired.  I also resented it.  Even while I sought the attention, I hated it. I hated myself, I hated my body, and I hated how I felt.  I watched Miley Cyrus's performance and I recognized myself from years ago.  The only difference is that she is has a public stage to perform on.

I can't speak for Miley, I don't know her personal struggles, or feelings, or thoughts, and so I can't say why she performed the way she did, but I will never forget that period of my life.  I felt so worthless.  I don't know where I learned this lie from, my guess is from movies and magazines, perhaps even people that I knew at that time.  This lie that I believed told me that girls who dance on tables are carefree, and that guys will see them as fun and desirable; the lie told me that men only value a woman's body; it told me that sex was the only thing they want from me; it told me that who I am doesn't matter, all that matters is whether the men/boys/guys around me find me attractive enough to give me attention.  And I believed this lie.  I believed it for a long time, and I made choices because I believed this lie that I now regret.

Someday Wynter will be a young woman and I want so badly to protect her from believing this lie.  I can't keep the lie out of her life because it permeates our culture.  You can find it in songs, in movies, in magazines, and in books.  So, I know I can't keep her from hearing this lie, but I can work hard to be sure that when she first hears that her worth is tied to outer beauty and sex, she will have heard the truth for so long that she will be able to recognize it is a lie and choose not to believe it.

This is the truth:  Our worth comes not from our physical appearance, nor is it measured by our abilities, or the amount of attention we can attract; our worth was determined long ago, when Christ valued us so much that he died on the cross for us.  That is our worth, and it has nothing to do with what we have done. 

John 3:16 has never spoken to me as much as it does today, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." (ESV)  If that doesn't tell us how much we are loved, how much we are worth, I don't know what does.